Honoring Hlin by Honoring the Dead
One
cannot honor the dead too much. So much of what we have and who we are comes
from them. Their strength, sacrifices, wisdom, failures, victories, faults, and
graces form the generational tapestry of which our threads are an ongoing part.
The connection we have to them is one of heart, blood, bone, and spirit. It is
right and proper to honor them on an ongoing basis. (How one does this will
vary, based on the ancestors themselves, and the individual’s religion). They
watch over us and can become a wall of strength and protection at our
backs. Memory is a powerful thing, and remembrance a powerful gift. While
our ability to give elaborate offerings might be limited, we can all give the
gift of time and memory to our dead.
So what does
all of this have to do with Hlin?
Hlin is a Goddess often associated with grieving. Part of Her
core competency, if you will, is aiding people in coming to terms with the
pain of losing a loved one. Renewing those connections through the gift of
ancestor work can be a powerful part of healing and processing grief. (I know
it certainly was for me). In many ways Hlin stands in the place between this
world and the world of the dead, facilitating communication. She handles both
as a warrior and as a comrade, all those things that connect these two spheres
of being. Because of that, by extension She may be called upon to help
facilitate clear communication across that divine, particularly with one’s
ancestors. Hlin can teach you how to do it right. Furthermore, by engaging in
these practices, one can honor not only one’s ancestors, but this Goddess as
well. Every warrior Deity that I have ever encountered has been about what
needs to be done; They are about the work at hand. I suspect, based on my own
limited experience, that Hlin is like this as well. By doing what needs to be
done to honor one’s dead, something that frankly should be part of any healthy
spiritual practice, we are doing something that can be pleasing to Her
too.
The most
basic thing you can do to begin honoring your dead, is to make space for them
and for these practices in your home. Having a dedicated space given over to
honoring the dead is important, if only as a psychological cue that calls to
mind the connection we have to them. By setting up an ancestor table, (or shelf
if you have a small apartment) you’re acknowledging the ongoing bond that you
have to your own ancestors. You’re making a statement about your desired
intention of honoring that connection too. This doesn’t have to be elaborate.
In the end, it really doesn’t matter what you do so long as you do something
consistently. If you are on an exceptionally tight budget, simply setting out a
glass of tap water and spending ten minutes in the morning talking to your
ancestors will suffice. But this is a relationship and like any relationship
human or other, it takes attention and work. Our dead want to be remembered and
honored. They haven’t forgotten us and by turning our attention toward them in
a consistent manner, we’re empowering them to watch over us and work on our
behalf. That is no small matter!
So the first
step that I would suggest for someone interested in honoring the ancestors is
to set up a space on one’s home. It can be a shelf, or a table, a nightstand,
or dresser top. I have found that my own ancestors specifically wanted to be in
the kitchen and dining room so that is where my own altar resides, with a
secondary altar dedicated to my adopted mother in my living room. Pick a space
and clean it up. Put out pictures of your honored dead, and also of any people
who were important to you spiritually. Sometimes the deepest bonds are created
from the heart and spirit rather than blood and that is ok too. Those people count
as a special class of ancestors. Never, ever put a picture of someone living on
the ancestor altar as it is disrespectful to death (and in some traditions
considered really, really bad luck). I have found that if one has tastefully
framed photos of family and departed friends displayed, it rarely raises
comment. It is a natural thing to honor the dead. We may not have learned to do
it in a sacred context, but remembering those who have come before us, whose
passage through this world shaped and honed us is a deeply ingrained and very
natural thing. I have only ever received questions when I had visible
offerings of food and drink also sitting out, and those questions were always
respectful – curious but respectful. In many cases answering those questions
led to the one asking developing a greater awareness of their own dead too,
even if they didn’t rush home to put up an altar! It never hurts to make space
for respect and recognition even if just in little ways, like the raising of a
glass of wine in toast “to the ancestors.” This too, is veneration.
Once you
have a table or space determined, and your pictures arranged (if you don’t have
photos, put out things that remind you of your ancestors, or that come from the
regions of the world from which they themselves came), add a candle and perhaps
a couple glasses of water or beer, maybe flowers if you want to get
particularly fancy, and there you have it: your very first ancestral altar. Of
course it doesn’t stop here. Once you have your altar set up, the next step is
to work with it: talk to your ancestors. Tell them about your hopes, your
dreams. Bring them into your daily life in all its minutiae. Set out offerings
of water, wine, beer, coffee—whatever you get the feeling they might like. Set
out offerings of food and sweets, or maybe tobacco too. Most of all, give them
the gift of your time. That’s where it really begins, with making the conscious
determination to put yourself in right relationship with the generations of
ancestors whose struggles put you here.